2018 was a turbulent year. Upon the loss of my Grandma, starting therapy, the loss of a long-time family friend, creating my own blog, starting a new job, and so much more, its been quite hectic to say the least. With all the turbulence I faced throughout the year, I’ve decided to sit, reflect, and write, about all the changes I’ve made for myself. I’ve decided to start with the changes I’ve made in my relationship. Anthony and I started dating a little over two years ago. I moved in with him nine months into our relationship. Things moved rather quickly between he and I. Upon moving into a “Bachelor Pad” I knew I’d face some issues. First, the house was a cluttered mess. Second, the house was full of men who didn’t cook all that much; basically, what I am saying is we had a lack of supplies (dishes, cookware, eating utensils, etc.) Lastly, I learned so much about Anthony in a matter of days. When I first moved in, I was extremely hesitant about our relationship lasting. I lived with a lot of fear when I first moved in. I thought any wrongdoing with ruin our relationship. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. Anthony welcomed me with open arms. In the past year, I’ve slowly started cleaning up and making the house our home. We put up pictures, put in a kitchen table, put up new curtains and slowly changed the “Bachelor Pad” into something we could all enjoy. Not to mention, we shared Thanksgiving dinner at our house with both of our families. Anthony has grown a lot. He is more open-minded about doing things out of his comfort zone. Whereas before, he was very stuck in a selfish lifestyle. He made it very clear that he wouldn’t go out with my friends and I because he’s already lived that part of his life and he had no interest in it anymore. It used to upset me quite a bit because I didn’t feel it was fair to the relationship, but after reflecting about it, I realized, he was right. He is ten years older than I and he has lived his life. I had to decide on whether to stay or not knowing he would never do anything I wanted (i.e. dancing with me at a wedding or another special occasion.) I decided to stay, and honestly, I feel it was worth it because now he is more open to doing things I like. I am extremely grateful for him. I look forward to the future with him sharing our life as a couple. Next, I’ve decided to talk about my career choices. I went from working in retail to working with people with IDD as a Job Coach. It was a drastic change in my career. I used to hate my job because working in retail sucks! I’m not a people person and I seriously suck at “faking it till I make it.” I also suffer from resting bitch face. Working in retail was not the right fit. I applied for so many jobs I wasn’t 100% qualified for because I knew I needed to get the hell out of my job. When I applied at LifeROOTS, I applied for an opportunity to challenge myself, and potentially use my BA in Psychology. I also got the privilege to work with an amazing lady with IDD while working at Albertsons. She is one of my favorite people on this planet, so I thought working with more people like her would be fun. The universe clearly had my back because shortly after applying, I got a call to schedule an interview, and within two weeks I had a job! Before I got this job, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I knew I would pursue a MA in Counseling, specialized in substance abuse. My goal was to become a Substance Abuse Counselor. Having dealt with substance abuse in my family (and myself) I knew I wanted to do something to make a difference. While working at LifeROOTS, I took an interest in something else. I took an interest in becoming a Behavior Support Consultant. I would still pursue an MA in Counseling, but I wouldn’t specialize in substance abuse. A lot of my clients Have a BSC and learning different strategies to work with different behaviors was interesting to me. I loved the idea of working with these people and (hopefully) helping direct staff deal/cope with all these different behaviors clients may face. We will see what the future brings for my career. That is my goal, but for now, I love being a Job Coach. Lastly, I wanted to talk about the changes I am making for myself. First and foremost, I am putting myself first! I put everybody else’s needs before my own all the time. It’s just who I am. I am currently trapped in a cycle of people pleasing. I’m working with my therapist and my support system to get out of this cycle and focus on myself for once. I’m doing this by engaging in more self-care and self-love techniques. My mental health is a crazy roller coaster. I have my ups and downs, but I’m working to cope with my PTSD and potentially overcome it. I’m practicing stillness and meditation at least three times per week, but I look to increase it to a daily practice. Stillness has helped a lot with my anxiety and other symptoms of PTSD. Along with my mental health, I am also putting focus on my physical health as well. I got a gym membership and go to the gym four times per week. I am also incorporating more color into my diet. I’m not exercising and eating healthier to see results (though if I get results that would be cool.) I am doing it for my overall health. The last thing I am doing for myself is careless and stress less. I’m starting let my ego go and not stress the small stuff. I read in Gabby Bernstein’s book, Miracles Now to measure success with how much fun you are having. I’ve decided to start doing this. I used to measure my success based on how much education I had. I currently have a bachelor’s degree my goal is to get my master’s degree. Once I achieved that I would consider myself extremely successful. Now, re-framing my outlook on how I measure my own success is helping my state of mind because I am not focused on what I don’t have. All these changes I have or will make to my life are in honor of the new year. These changes aren’t labeled resolutions (though some may see it that way) I am labeling them my new traditions and histories I am making for myself. Each change changes my history ever so slightly. Therefore, they are not resolutions. Have a happy new year everybody!
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