2021 is here and I figured it’s time to start making some goals for the new year. As most of you know 2020 was a shit show. I’m not going to sugar coat it, 2020 sucked. Even though 2020 was what it was I accomplished a lot of amazing things. My favorite was definitely winning NaNoWriMo. I completed my first book and that is something I’m extremely proud of. I have a list of goals I want to share.
Health and Wellness Goals Incorporate more color into my diet. Stretch daily to increase my flexibility. Start doing either Yoga and Pilates once a week. Mind and Spirit Goals Journal up to 3x/week. Engage in more self-care Practice mindfulness daily. Reading and Writing Goals Draft another book by the end of 2021 Read 15 books Consistently post to the blog. Career and Financial Goals Take 24 hours of continued education training. Work on my motivational interview skills. Save $50 every other week. What are some goals you have for the new year? Let me know in the comments!
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Throughout my life, I have had a number of best friends. Each of these women has taught me something different that I have never forgotten. Even if I and these women are no longer close they all still have a special place in my heart. I recently wrote in my journal about each lesson I learned from each person I once called my best friend, and after some reflection, I've decided to share these lessons with you all. My first best friend was Faith. Faith and I were inseparable from elementary school to the start of middle school. She and I shared a number of first with each other. She and I went on several vacations together and spent every day with each other. We were always quick to put each other in check when the other was being a jerk. She was not one to back down. In 7th grade, Faith and her family moved away. She and I had started to drift apart before she moved and I thought when she moved it wouldn't affect me but I was completely wrong. I missed Faith terribly but that was when I learned my first lesson. The lesson Faith taught me was to enjoy the time with the people you care about because your time together is short. She and I reconnected a few years ago and I'm grateful for having done so. Next was Crystal. Crystal and I were friends from middle school to the start of high school. Similar to my relationship with Faith, Crystal and I were inseparable. She introduced me to Anime and other amazing fandoms. She is a year older than me but she is wise for her age. Something I've always admired about Crystal was her compassion. She was not one to judge or mistreat you for whatever ailed you. Crystal and I had a falling out in the 9th grade because I was a depressed, jealous 9th grader who blamed everyone else for their problems. I confided in her that I was suicidal and the next day she went and told our guidance counselor. At the time, I was furious she would betray my trust and rat me out. I was required to go to therapy and I was put on suicide watch. It was hell. But after some time I realized the lesson she taught me. Crystal taught me the value of my own life. If it hadn't been for her, I would probably be dead. I cannot thank her enough for saving my life. Dorothy is my favorite loudmouth, band geek. Dorothy and I met in the 10th grade. We had a few classes together and we instantly connected. Dorothy and I have the same personality. We really don't like people, however, we both have huge hearts. Dorothy was one of the people who helped me get through my depression in high school. She and I were always cracking jokes. She could make me laugh even when I was so not in the mood. We did begin to drift apart when I got into a relationship but even though we didn't spend every second together she still had my back and I still had hers. In our time apart I realized the lesson she taught me. Dorothy taught me that a great sense of humor can get you through almost anything. To this day, we laugh about the stupidest things and I'm grateful for it. Lastly, I want to talk about Adele. She and I met in our Psych 200 tutoring sessions. We bonded over our struggle of the subject and our crush on the tutor. We went weekly and those tutoring sessions paid off because we both aced the course. We were both Psych majors so we took other classes together and our friendship blossomed. What I loved about Adele was she was (and still is) very blunt. She wasn't afraid to call you out on your crap. Well, at that time, I was still engaged, to my now, ex-fiance. He was in the Navy and he came to visit while he was on leave. I wasn't on school break at the time he was visiting, so when I went on my lunch break he came to UNM to visit. We had lunch at McDonald's and I couldn't wait to introduce him to Adele. I introduced them and even though she was nice, she could tell he was bad news for me. Well, after a few bad months he and I broke up. Then Adele was real with me that she saw some serious red flags in our relationship but rather than ruin my happiness she kept it quiet. I was grateful for her doing that because knowing me, I would have told her off. Well, when I started dating my current boyfriend, Anthony, Adele immediately noticed a difference in my relationship. She told me she saw huge differences from my ex to Anthony. She saw that Anthony actually made me happy. Something I hadn't felt with my ex in a long time. After learning that Adele (a girl I had only known for less than a year) saw the huge red flags from my relationship and respected me enough to tell me when she knew I could handle it, I knew then I could trust her. It was then I learned my lesson from her. Adele taught me to seek what I need from all my relationships and never settle for anything less. To this day, I am actively seeking what I need from people and working to ensure my needs are met. She doesn't live in New Mexico anymore but whenever we visit with one another we pick up right where we left off. Each of these amazing women taught me a valuable lesson and I am grateful for each and every one of them. Without these lessons I wouldn't be the woman I am today, so thank you ladies you will forever have a special place in my heart!
I'm depressed, there's no doubt about it. Things I normally loved doing I have no interest in anymore. Being stuck in quarantine, having lost my full-time job, not being able to do things without the fear of getting sick takes a toll on a person. I know I'm not the only one feeling down during this pandemic. This blog post is not for pity or for people to feel bad for me but it's a reminder that what you're feeling right now is important and validated. If you're feeling depressed just know it's an appropriate response to this pandemic. It's okay to feel down every now and then. When your life has had drastic changes in a very short time it's perfectly okay to be upset. But I do not condone allowing your feelings to control your life. I know it's not always easy. Some days are harder than others. But at the end of the day, your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Make sure to take care of yourself. Self-care goes a long way and can help you from making terrible mistakes. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression please call 1-800-662-4357. Remember you are not alone and people love you.
When the COVID-19 hit New Mexico things took a downward spiral quickly. I lost my job, the state was put on stay-at-home orders, and I was worried every time I left the house. My anxiety escalated quickly so rather than just take care of myself physically I started doing more things to take myself mentally as well. Here are five things I did during quarantine for my mental health.
1. Write in a journal I love writing in my journal. It's a wonderful way to express my thoughts and feelings that I can't always share with people. Sometimes when I feel alone I feel better writing my thoughts down in my journal. 2. Call a friend Being isolated at home with whoever you live with isn't all bad but I know I miss seeing my friends. Since I can't go and visit my friends a simple call or FaceTime did the trick. I felt connected with the outside world again being able to hear a friend's voice. 3. Read a book A goal of mine before the pandemic was to read at least 20 books this year. Well, since I've had a lot of free time on my hands I've been using a lot of this time to read books. I've read nine books so far and I'm almost done with the tenth book. Reading isn't for everyone but if you are a bookworm like me, pick up a book and read. 4. Cuddle with your furbabies When I went to UNM right before midterms and finals they had cuddle a canine day to help relieve stress, and guess what, it works! Sometimes after a stressful day of boredom all you need is to cuddle with your furbabies. 5. Exercise It's a known fact that exercise helps relieve stress and anxiety so if you are feeling down try going for a walk or even do some yoga. Whatever exercise you like try doing at least 30 minutes of exercise daily. It will help with your anxiety. I am sure many of you, like myself, struggle with something that no matter what you do you can't seem to shake. I currently struggle with a few things that I get in control temporarily but after some time I fall off the wagon and struggle again. The first one is managing my anxiety. As expected, while I was in therapy I managed my anxiety pretty well. Once I stopped therapy, that is when things took a turn for the worst. Just like anybody else, I have good and bad days. Some days I can just shrug off my anxiety like it’s nothing. Other days it feels like it’s never-ending. Once I fall down the anxiety rabbit hole it’s not so easy to get back out. It’s been especially hard during this time of social distancing. Being forced to stay home has been anxiety-provoking. I am almost certain I am not alone in feeling anxiety during this hectic time.
Another thing that I struggle with but can’t seem to shake is the negative reaction I have when I weigh myself. I have always struggled with my body image and the number on the scale. At times I have no issue and love myself as I am, but then there are times just seeing myself in the mirror or stepping on the scale causes me a tremendous amount of anxiety. (See, I am back to struggling with anxiety.) I’ll change my eating habits and exercise regularly but sometimes that doesn’t do anything, and when that happens, I typically go in a downward spiral. Which like my anxiety, can be difficult to get out of. Lastly, I struggle with wanting to get a new job. I was recently laid off from my full-time job, but before that, I was going back and forth about looking for a new job. I didn’t feel appreciated at the job I had and at the same time I felt I was being underpaid for having a bachelor’s degree. To be completely honest, having a bachelor’s degree doesn’t get you high paying jobs but there are jobs that will pay me differently for having my degree. On the opposite side of the spectrum, I didn’t want to leave my job because of whatever excuse I could think of. These three things are the struggles I can’t seem to shake no matter what I do. But even though keeping these things under control can be a struggle I won’t give up. These things are just another bump in the road for me. Will I ever be able to control these fully? Who knows, but I’ll never know unless I try. Are there things you struggle with but can’t seem to shake? Let me know in the comments! For the past three years, I've had an ongoing battle with Anthony's best friend. He and I are too much alike in our strong personalities and we usually butt heads. Well, for the past four or five months Anthony and his friend weren't speaking. I was relieved because that was one less thing to stress about. I personally feel that when he and Anthony are together this person says bad things about me and Anthony won't defend me because he doesn't like conflict. I can usually tolerate his best friend when he is sober, but the second he starts drinking things take a turn for the worst. He has treated me poorly from the get-go. I'm no saint I've made my fair mistakes too and I live with them every day. I thought we had gotten over something stupid I did to him three years ago, but every time he is slightly inebriated he brings it up and makes me feel awful. I've tried and tried to make peace with him because when it comes down to it, he's Anthony's best friend and he's not going anywhere. But the fact of the matter is, you can't make peace with someone who wants war. It was a nice few months not having to see him or hear from him. I felt at peace and that things were going in the right direction. Well, he called Anthony the other day and I have to accept that he's back in our life. I'm no longer going to try to get this guy to like me. He clearly doesn't. I'm simply going to be civil and keep my distance. He's damaged my mental health enough. I'm sick of being the bigger person. I'm doing what's best for me now.
Initial impressions: Today is my last day of Women in Charge. I'm excited and sad at the same time. I really like Jiu-Jitsu. Well, today was a fun day. We worked on how to escape if someone is straddled on top of you. Andrea and I took today's class very seriously. I'm not saying that she and I didn't take the other classes seriously, but we really wanted to get these moves right. We started class with a review of everything we learned throughout the class. After reviewing everything, Professor Rafael and Coach Rene showed us how to escape when someone is straddled on top of you while choking you. Guys this move involves a flip! Andrea and I practiced this move three times each. Then we regrouped and Professor Rafael and Coach Sara showed us how to prevent someone from punching you when they are straddled on top of you then flip them over. Andrea and I paid close attention to this move, but when it came down to actually trying it we completely spaced on what to do. Professor Russel guided us verbally and we executed the move perfectly! That was the final move of the course. (Sad Drea). After class ended Professors Rafael, Russel and Coach Rene talked to us and expressed how they were proud of us for completing the course. Coach Rene's words were genuine and heartfelt. They even made me get a little teary eyes. I may be the 1 out of 6 women who was raped but this class has taught me that I am more than a statistic. I learned I am strong and now know how to prevent something like that from happening again. I really enjoyed this class and want to continue training in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, but as for now, I'll wait for part two of Women in Charge! I believe every woman should take this class it's very beneficial and a lot of fun! Let's see what is to come of my Jiu-Jitsu journey. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed my rants and raves about the Women in Charge course. Maybe next time I'll see some of you there! XOXO Drea Here are a couple of YouTube videos so you can get a visual of what I am talking about. **Note** the first video is more what we learned today. The second video is what we learned during Day Three and Day Four. Initial impressions: I'm excited to continue learning today. We are supposed to learn how to escape while being pinned down.
Well, the class was amazing! When we arrived we had to sign a video release because they were recording our class! Andrea came today and I was so excited to see her. I loved working with Marvel and Kristina but I missed Andrea. I'm actually glad I got to train with other women as well. It gave me an opportunity to see if Andrea was just being nice and just letting me escape. Today, we started class with a warm-up similar to day one. I don't remember how many of each exercise we did but I know it was similar to day one so if you are curious just reread day one's warm up again. Then we got to business. Professors Amber and Rafael first presented us with how to do power kicks. We then had two minutes to practice the kicks with our partner. Poor Andrea I kicked hard. After our two minutes were up Professors Amber and Rafael shared with us a basic pin escape. We practiced, then they moved onto a choking pin escape. We practiced and Professor Rafael saw me struggling and guided me through the movements so I could escape properly. During my hip escape, I was using the wrong leg to hold my partner back and was forgetting to straighten out my body before kicking. I need more practice on the choking pin escape but our time ran out and we moved onto how to escape when our wrists are pinned down. I must admit today is my favorite day so far! I can’t wait to see what day five has in store! Initial impressions: Wow I have even more bruises than I did yesterday morning! I must be doing things correctly.
So today we practiced using our voices to set boundaries. We also learned that if that doesn't work out how to escape a chokehold and an unwanted hug from behind. This class never ceases to amaze me on how these simple moves (if executed properly) can cause some serious damage. I never thought I would be able to escape a chokehold. Accomplishing this made me very proud. Andrea was absent today, so I worked with a lovely lady named Kristina. I also worked with a woman named Marvel. (Yes, that's her real name!) Guys, Marvel is 77 years old and apart from this class, she currently trains in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu! When they say, "Jiu-Jitsu for everyone" they mean EVERYONE! Ladies, you have to try this amazing program! It's only my 3rd day and I've learned so much! Yesterday I may have felt discouraged but that completely changed today! Initial impressions: Yesterday was amazing! I'm so excited to see what we learn today! I also have battle scars from yesterday. Today we learned to break someone's grip when they are pulling you. We learned 7 grip releases. Each of these grip releases consists of using your own leverage to escape. We were also introduced to a new professor, Professor Fabio. He walked around helping us and showing us how to execute each move properly. However, when we practiced our inverted low grip release, Professor Fabio showed Andrea and me how to escape differently from how Professors Amber and Rafael originally showed the class. Coach Sara saw Andrea and I struggling and she corrected the error we were making and made the grip release a lot easier to understand. I'm not saying Professor Fabio didn't teach us properly I just needed more clarification for that particular grip release. I'm not going to lie, I was a bit discouraged today, but I refuse to give up! I just need practice with these grip releases. Anthony agreed to help me practice so that's a plus! I want to master each of these grip releases. I struggled with the last two so those are the ones I will focus on. Tomorrow we are working on how to avoid/escape an unwanted hug. I'm excited and ready! Since I do not know the grip releases by name except inverted low, here is a short video of what we learned in class today. Maybe seeing what I learned today will inspire some of you ladies (and gentlemen) to join a class like this! |
dreaAlways remember to love yourself. Categories |