I’ve mentioned in past posts that this year I was diagnosed with PTSD. This diagnosis has been a cruel mistress. Some of my days go well and I don’t even remember that I have a mental illness, but some days it’s a constant battle with myself. When I have these bad days, I feel hopeless because no matter what I do I’ll never be able to cure myself of this horrible illness. Luckily, I have a strong support system to help me overcome this difficult journey.
My therapist had me list people I trusted to help me in my journey and I listed 5 people. I listed my mom, Anthony (my boyfriend), Danielle (my therapist), Estevan (my guy best friend), and Adele (my girl best friend). I listed these people because I consider them people of trust who care enough to be there for me whether physically or emotionally. Suffering from PTSD can differ from person to person. We all suffer most of the same symptoms, however, we all have different triggers for these symptoms. I, with the help of my support system have identified the symptoms I feel quite often. It seems for me, I feel anxiety, anger, and sadness most often. In my sessions with Danielle, we have been working on identifying what I feel when I feel an extreme emotion coming on. For example, Danielle asked me in my last session, what is the first thing I feel when I am angry? Initially, I couldn’t answer because I had never thought about it. So, she stepped up her game and purposely made me angry and then asked again. Once I identified what I felt when I felt angry, she had me do the same for my anxiety and my sadness. She then told me that when I start to feel any of these extreme emotions to be mindful about them, and then do whatever it takes to just let those feelings go. We have also identified my triggers as well. This is where the help of my support system comes in handy because telling them what triggers my PTSD will help them get me out of these situations that could potentially harmful for me. I constantly need to be reminded that everything is going to be ok because once I start to think the worst it’s like a snowball effect on my mental health. Danielle is teaching me techniques to do by myself, and to show to my support system so that way when I am triggered, we can work as a team to stop this illness from taking over me completely. I also need to be reminded that overcoming this illness is not something that can happen overnight. It takes time and patience, but I have faith that I will overcome my PTSD.
0 Comments
The ”A Better Me” section of My Heart Beats NM is primarily to talk about my mental health journey and ways I am overcoming my PTSD and Depression. However, I know that a lot of people struggle when it comes to their mental health, and I hope that my posts can help others as well. Studying Psychology for my Undergrad years at UNM I learned a lot of ways to stay positive and suppress negative feelings and thoughts. Even now in my therapy sessions, I am still learning ways to suppress these feelings. One big thing to do to suppress negative thoughts is simply, laugh. In my sophomore year of college, I took a medical Spanish class. For one of our assignments, we had to attend something called Risaterapia which translates to laugh therapy. The whole point of laugh therapy is to laugh to make yourself feel better. If you think this sounds crazy, you are right, but at the same time this therapy session really helped. My classmates and I walked into this session confused and skeptical about it. We saw Curanderas in the middle of the room chanting and praying, then suddenly one of the Curandera’s started to laugh hysterically. At first, we all looked at each other in shock, but after some time her laughter became contagious and we all started laughing. We laughed for 10 minutes and it was amazing! After the session, all of us felt some much better than when we walked in. I am not suggesting that you go to laugh therapy session, however, I do think whenever you are feeling down, I think you should take a second and just laugh. Laughter is truly the best medicine.
As I have mentioned before I’ve recently started going to therapy. I’ve only had a few sessions, but I honestly feel that it is helping me. During my last session, my therapist and I did a treatment plan to help guide our future sessions. We talked about my strengths and weaknesses. I chose the weaknesses I want to work on during our sessions, and she is using those weaknesses to structure our future sessions. The weaknesses I chose to work on in my sessions with my therapist are ways to reduce my extreme emotions (anxiety, anger, irritability and stress.) My self-esteem, healthy ways to express myself, and ways to be more positive. Her first exercise she did with me was mindful paint therapy. She had me paint a picture, but here was the catch, she told me not to paint a picture of something specific, she told me to just paint without thinking. First, she had me close my eyes and clear my mind, then she told me to pick the color that called me, then she told me to just paint. She gave me about 5 minutes to paint something, and then we talked about it. She asked how it felt to paint without thinking, and I told her it was strange to not think while painting. She said my response was normal because we are programmed to think while we are doing things. She then asked how I felt to turn off my brain for 5 minutes. I told her it felt good to turn off my brain and forget about my daily stressors for 5 minutes. I know, it sounds cliché but painting that picture without thinking helped me relax a little bit. For the first few minutes it was strange, and I kept thinking about other things, but I set my focus back to the painting and it got a lot easier. In college, I learned of different mindfulness exercises but never really tried anything other than meditation. I’m excited to learn and experience more of these exercises in future sessions.
|
dreaAlways remember to love yourself. Categories |