Hello everyone! Happy Thankful Thursday! I wanted to share a few highlights from this past week that I am thankful for. First and foremost I want to share that last week I did pretty well with posting onto the blog. It’s been a while since I’ve posted more than one blog post per week. I am glad to announce that I posted three blog posts last week. That’s huge, especially for me. So, I am very proud of that accomplishment! If you haven’t checked those posts out you’re totally missing out. Just saying. ;) Second, I have been struggling at work and even though I was promoted to CDM, I still have been struggling with my overall happiness. Well, I am proud to say I have made the decision to start looking for a new place for employment. I like what I do, but I feel mistreated and don't feel valued as an employee. I need something better. I have applied to a few places and hope to hear back soon. I am proud that I decided to take this step and start looking for something better for me. Lastly, on Saturday, I had a girls night with my friend, Lisa. She and I played Pool, drank beer, and had a fun time. I’ve only known Lisa for six months but I am confident to say that she is a true friend. I even consider her a best friend. No one will replace Adele and Estevan, but I can definitely add Lisa to the list of people I truly care about.
What are you thankful for? Let me know in the comments!
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This is a trigger warning for the following blog post. Read at your own risk. Protect yourself, friends. Friday was an interesting day. First off, it was Friday the 13th (where are all my spooky people at?). Second, I had a fundraiser for work I had to attend. Third, I got horrible news on my way to said fundraiser. Well, to make a long story short, later that evening I had a horrible anxiety attack. My anxiety was so high it prevented me from sleeping. I desperately tried to shut off my brain and get some sleep but no matter what I tried I couldn't sleep. My brain took me to horrible places and I tried to fight the negative thoughts flooding my brain but I failed to redirect my automatic thoughts. Well, I noticed my knife had fallen from my side table to the carpet next to the bed. I stared at it for a few minutes then something horrible popped up in my head. I seriously considered getting my knife, going to the bathtub, and slitting my wrists. Immediately, I caught myself and told myself to "stop!" Tears filled my eyes and began to run down my cheeks. I told myself again out loud to stop. The thoughts lingered so I decided to get up and call my best friend. Estevan knows how to calm me down and snap me out of situations like this. I called him and no answer. I knew I couldn't just go back to my bed and lie down because I feared I may do something stupid so I looked through my phone and called another friend of mine, Luci. I woke her up, but thankfully she answered. Luci asked what triggered the attack and calmed me down. She gave me great advice that night. She told me: "Dre, don't do permanent damage for something that is temporary." Upon hearing that my thoughts started to slow down. She also reminded me that even though I felt alone that I am not alone. I have people who love and care about me that will support me in my time of need. A lot of the time people just don't understand what it's like to have anxiety. Luci helped me that night and calmed me down enough to try to get some sleep. I am sharing this because I know I am not the only one who has struggled with such bad anxiety that they believed ending their life was the only way out. I'm here to remind you to not do permanent damage for something that is temporary. Anxiety attacks suck, and they may seem like they last forever, but remember, that is something temporary. Once it goes away you will feel better. It may not be ideal, but it will be better than you felt during your attack. Don't give up.
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts please call this number. 1-800-273-8255 We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. Happy Thankful Thursday everyone! I want to start off by saying that I am thankful for all of you. You all make writing the blog much more fun. Thank you for all the wonderful comments and feedback. I feel I am growing so much more because of you all so thank you! First, I want to share that on Saturday I went to the casino with my Mom and both she and me got lucky! We both hit on the Dragon Link slot machine. I came out with a little over $100 and she left it all there but she had a fun time! I love being able to spend time with my Mom, even if it means spending money we probably shouldn't and spending an evening at the casino. After we left the casino she, Anthony, and I went to Fuddruckers and ate yummy burgers. Overall, it was a wonderful time. Second, I went to watch It Chapter 2 with Anthony, Kris and Zakk and I didn't get scared! Well, I did get scared, but I actually liked the movie. Those of you who know me know horror movies are not my thing, but I am willing to go watch them because Anthony and I try to compromise in our relationship. After the movie, we went to Red Robin and they had my favorite season beer, Samuel Adams Octoberfest! So, that was just a bonus thing to be thankful for! Lastly, my younger cousin, Arianna needed emergency surgery to remove her appendix. Well, I found out her surgery went well and that she's doing fine. I got to work yesterday morning and found out she had to have surgery and I was anxious all day. It was a relief to hear that she is okay. I'm extremely thankful that she is okay.
What are you thankful for? Let me know in the comments! Last week, I had an extremely busy week and failed to write and post a Thankful Thursday post. Well, I’m not letting this happen again. First, I want to share that I had a four day weekend. Over a month ago I requested August 23 off of work as my personal day. I chose this date because I felt it was lame to request my birthday off, so I chose the Friday after. Well, unfortunately, AWMD training was scheduled for August 22 and 23 so I couldn’t request either of those days off. My supervisor said she would reschedule my personal day to a later date. Well, I got lucky because she rescheduled my day off for August 30, which means that I would have 4 days off instead of 3 because of Labor Day. I am thankful for that because I have felt burnt out at work and I needed a mini vacation, so thank you, Traci for letting me have a 4 day weekend! Second, I got help from a friend, Melanie, with character development for a story I am writing about a dream I had. I’m new when it comes to creative writing, so I struggle with characters and making them sound like individuals rather than cliches. Well, Melanie is an amazing writer and has a lot of experience in creative writing (she has an MFA in creative writing) and she offered to help me with my struggles. She asked me a lot of rhetorical questions and gave me a lot of wonderful advice to bring my characters to life. Had she not helped me, more than likely, I would have been stuck with cliche sounding characters and have no idea what to do from there. So, thank you Melanie I appreciate all of your help. The last thing I want to share is I used my Labor Day to engage in some self-care. I started my day with a great work out at the gym. I then went to my mom’s and gave the dogs a bath. My dogs desperately needed it. After giving the dogs a bath, I came home and cleaned mine and Anthony’s bathroom. Lastly, I spent the day with my Mom strolling Hobby Lobby. My Mom and I could spend hours in Hobby Lobby just looking around and daydreaming. It was definitely what I needed. I feel refreshed and ready continue working.
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