I’ve mentioned in past posts that this year I was diagnosed with PTSD. This diagnosis has been a cruel mistress. Some of my days go well and I don’t even remember that I have a mental illness, but some days it’s a constant battle with myself. When I have these bad days, I feel hopeless because no matter what I do I’ll never be able to cure myself of this horrible illness. Luckily, I have a strong support system to help me overcome this difficult journey.
My therapist had me list people I trusted to help me in my journey and I listed 5 people. I listed my mom, Anthony (my boyfriend), Danielle (my therapist), Estevan (my guy best friend), and Adele (my girl best friend). I listed these people because I consider them people of trust who care enough to be there for me whether physically or emotionally. Suffering from PTSD can differ from person to person. We all suffer most of the same symptoms, however, we all have different triggers for these symptoms. I, with the help of my support system have identified the symptoms I feel quite often. It seems for me, I feel anxiety, anger, and sadness most often. In my sessions with Danielle, we have been working on identifying what I feel when I feel an extreme emotion coming on. For example, Danielle asked me in my last session, what is the first thing I feel when I am angry? Initially, I couldn’t answer because I had never thought about it. So, she stepped up her game and purposely made me angry and then asked again. Once I identified what I felt when I felt angry, she had me do the same for my anxiety and my sadness. She then told me that when I start to feel any of these extreme emotions to be mindful about them, and then do whatever it takes to just let those feelings go. We have also identified my triggers as well. This is where the help of my support system comes in handy because telling them what triggers my PTSD will help them get me out of these situations that could potentially harmful for me. I constantly need to be reminded that everything is going to be ok because once I start to think the worst it’s like a snowball effect on my mental health. Danielle is teaching me techniques to do by myself, and to show to my support system so that way when I am triggered, we can work as a team to stop this illness from taking over me completely. I also need to be reminded that overcoming this illness is not something that can happen overnight. It takes time and patience, but I have faith that I will overcome my PTSD.
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