Happy Thankful Thursday everyone! I wanted to make a quick shout out to my niece (younger cousin), Jaden! Today is her 10th birthday, and I cannot contain my emotions. It feels like just yesterday my little consentida was in diapers! i just can't right now. Haha, now, onto the things I am thankful for: Last week, I wrote a poem and sent it to my group of trusted friends (aka the Xingonas) to critique. I sent this poem with hesitation that it wasn't good enough, and to my surprise, they all loved it. I'm extremely grateful for these women. They are honest and provided amazing feedback. They have supported me in my journey as a writer and blogger. Thank you Diana, Lidia, Aubrey, and Gaby! You all are the real MVPs! I posted this poem onto A Better Me a few days ago, so please check it out! Second I've recently changed how I eat. I've been incorporating a lot more protein, vegetables, and overall healthier foods. I've also been exercising daily. I've been trying to walk 10,000 steps a day and go to the gym 4x per week. And I have noticed my mental health has taken a turn for the better. All this self care has done wonders for me. I hope this change in my mental state continues, and hey, maybe I'll lose a few pounds along the way. With that being said, the last thing I'm thankful for is, my therapist and I talked last week and said she feels I'm ready for discharge. She did remind me she is not forcing it, but she feels I've grown so much in the past year and a half and I've met all of my goals. So, if I don't have anything else to work on we can proceed with discharge. She did give me 30 days to see how things go and if I figure something out to work on, I need to schedule an appointment and we will continue. But, if I don't figure something out within the 30 days we will schedule an appointment and fill out the paperwork for discharge. Maybe this new state of mind will continue and I won't need therapy. Only time will tell.
What are you all thankful for? Let me know in the comments!
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This is the story about a girl,
She goes by many names. Her life has been for the lack of a better word: interesting She has had good moments, She has had bad. She is drawn to the bad. Ask her what she remembers about her life, and more than likely, she will bring up the bad. She is tired of feeling unhappy, alone, depressed, anxious, living in fear. Hopelessly trying to bury her past. Digging and digging but no matter what she does the sand keeps falling into the hole. The constant battle between her and her demons. She grows exhausted not knowing if she should pick up the sword and continue the fight, OR Just surrender and deal with the pain. Desperately chasing her dreams. The feeling of fatigue in her muscles. The want to keep going aches bone deep. She chooses to continue then hits barriers. These barriers hit her like a truck. Rejection, change of heart, being forgotten, ignored, blocked. Picking up the shattered pieces to repave her path. She feels lost. Not knowing what the future has in store. Moving forward, she dreams of her future. She can faintly see the light at the end of the tunnel. She lives in a blurry, distorted reality. Remembering the negative, going back to dark places she thought had disappeared. She closes her eyes and begins to pray. Lacing her hands, she asks God to help her see the light and help her escape. Then, resilience. She remembers who she is. Deep inside she feels her soul rumbling inside. Breaking the chains that once kept her captive. Releasing the true potential within. She realizes it’s okay to be lost, Okay to not know what she wants, Okay to make mistakes, Okay to be a brown, full-bodied woman, Okay to wear a larger size. She is no longer ashamed of her brown, curly hair. She embraces her curls in fact! She remembers she’s not a failure, She is a success, a college graduate, a kind-hearted person, an advocate, a survivor, a writer, a dreamer, an adventurer, a co-conspirator, a Queen. Her name is Andrea. I am that girl, no, not a girl; a woman! A woman who realizes that she is perfect in her own skin, and if you don’t like it, who the hell cares? I am me! Happy Thankful Thursday! This week I have three things to share that I am grateful for. First, on Sunday, we had a family dinner at our house. I made Green Chile Chicken Enchiladas and Calabacitas and enjoyed this meal and great company. For a while Anthony, my mom and myself would have weekly family dinners, but unfortunately, all of our schedules didn’t coincide so we could not have them once a week as we used to. It was a nice start to the week enjoying dinner with my family. We are going to have to try to bring weekly family dinner back! Second, I was recently ghosted and now blocked by a person who I looked up to and believed was a friend. I recently posted about this person and me accepting that this person does not want me in her life. Well, upon finding out she had blocked me on all social media with no explanation brought back the negative automatic thoughts. I immediately thought negative of myself and was left to wonder what I did wrong to this person and how I could fix it. Well, Adri, a person I met through Cushy Blog saw my Twitter feed where I was ranting about this and decided to check up on me. Adri, helped clear my mind see that this person is not important. Reminding me that I am great and it’s truly this girl's loss. She also showed me her way of identifying friendships, and acquaintanceships, and it opened my eyes to a new way of thinking. Adri helped me when I was feeling down and I am incredibly grateful for her. Lastly, I’m grateful for my participants. Due to HIPPA laws, I cannot share their names, but they know when something is off about me and know exactly what to do to cheer me up. Yesterday was an off day and I honestly had no idea why, and my participants at one of my job sites made my day so much better. They made me laugh, we sang, danced and they got their job done. I couldn’t be happier when they mess around and get their jobs done. I don’t know what I would do without my participants. They are amazing!
What are you grateful for this week? Let me know in the comments! Also, check out Adri's podcast Accio Politics. It's a Muggle Net podcast! Follow Accio Politics on social media, @Acciopolitics! Happy Independence Day, and Happy Thankful Thursday! I thought about starting my post with being grateful for having a paid holiday off. Today, I am fortunate enough to spend the day with loved ones and I look forward having a great day off. I hope you all have a fun and safe Independence Day. The second thing I am grateful for this past week is going on a hike with Anthony. He and I decided to wake up early on Saturday morning and go for a hike. We did this for two reasons: one, to break in my new hunting shoes, and two, so we can get into shape for our upcoming hunt in October. We hiked a total of 6.73 miles. We had a great time spending time together and engaging in self-care. I felt refreshed after our hike. I just hope we continue doing this every week. So my final thing is something that happened two weeks ago, but since I failed to post Thankful Thursday that week I am sharing it now. My friend Adele came into town. Adele is my best friend. We met at UNM in our Psych 200 class and we have been friends ever since. She also introduced me several great humans, (Cassie and Mack mainly). When we graduated from UNM, Adele moved to Oregon and I went from seeing her every day to only texting her. It sucked, but thankfully, Adele came into town to visit Cassie and I! Mack, too but mainly Cassie and I. I spent an afternoon with her while she was here and I am incredibly grateful I got to see her. We had a great time together and I can't wait to see her again. Only this time, I am going to have to get my butt over to Oregon. Thank you for being such an amazing person, Adele. I don't know what I'd do without you!
Last week was incredibly busy and I completely forgot about my Thankful Thursday post! Well, I knew I could not forget it this week so here are my three things I am grateful for! First Anthony, I, our friends Bryan and Gabriela went on a double date to Kelly Jo design by wine. We drank wine, painted a crane in the sunset, and enjoyed each other’s company. Gabriela and I have been dying to go to one of these painting classes just because she and I love wine and being creative. If you are an Albuquerque local, Kelly Jo’s is located on 4th street in Los Ranchos de Albuquerque. It usually costs approximately $35 plus tax per person. Everything is included, (easel, canvas, paints, brushes) apart from snacks and wine. Each class lasts approximately two-three hours. It was such a fun time. I highly recommend taking one of these classes. Second, on Saturday, Anthony and I attended The Mule Deer Foundation of New Mexico’s annual banquet. Anthony was invited to go to this event, and I was fortunate enough to be his guest. We participated in raffles, a live auction, enjoyed a wonderful dinner and had a great time. Anthony and I even won a few prizes from the raffle. We also took a selfie together and Anthony smiled! It is rare when Anthony smiles in pictures or even just takes pictures with me. So, I am incredibly grateful for that! Third, in honor of my new self-love, I decided to pay my friend Shay (a professional photographer) to take pictures of me, just because! I had absolutely no reason other than wanting to get ready and get my picture taken. I am learning to love myself inside and out and why not take beautiful pictures to show off your assets. What are you all thankful for this past week? Let me know in the comments!
Happy Thankful Thursday everyone! This week I have three things I want to talk about that brought a lot of positive vibes my way. First, I have come to accept that someone I believed to be my friend is not. She was kind to me at first but recently ghosted me. It was devastating for me at first because I truly cared for this person. But now, I feel liberated accepting that this person is not worth my time. I'm going to continue living my life and I wish this person the best.I mentioned this in my post, "Inside Me: Acceptance" but I felt it was a huge positive step and I felt it was worth mentioning again. Second, I decided to bring my Harley to mine and Anthony's to spend the weekend with us and Kaleo. When I moved in with Anthony, I wanted to bring my dog, but Blu our late Pit bull wanted to fight with him. So rather than harm either dog I decided to leave Harley at my house with my mom and her dog, Hayley. Well, since Blu's passing I've wanted to see how Harley reacts with the other dog we had, Kaleo. I've just been incredibly lazy in bringing Harley over. Well, I finally decided to bring him over and it was a great visit! Harley was protective of me at first, but after a nights adjustment period, Kaleo and Harley were the best of friends. Maybe some day soon I can finally bring my baby boy home with me. Lastly, I applied for a new position at LifeROOTS and on Monday, I received a call for an interview. I must admit, I was excited to hear they wanted to interview me, but along with that came some anxiety. All the 'what ifs' flooded my brain. Luckily for me, I redirected my thoughts and calmed myself down. This interview is the start of something great whether I get the job or not. My work now sees that I am interested in more than just an entry level position. I see a lot of potential to grow in this field, so I will continue to challenge myself and apply for these positions I am not 100% qualified for because I am a rock star and can achieve anything I set my mind to. I hope you all have a great week and I'll see you next time for Thankful Thursday!
Hello all, this week has been eventful. I had several things that I wanted to point out that I am thankful for this week. First and foremost, Anthony, his parents, and I took a day trip to Santa Fe on Sunday. We went to the national cemetery to visit Anthony’s grandparent’s gravesite. After the cemetery, we stopped at Tesuque Casino and I won $130! Upon leaving Tesuque, we decided to make a stop at Santa Ana Casino and Anthony won $200! It was a prosperous Sunday for both of us. It was also a nice little getaway. Much needed self-care. Second, after a week off from therapy I went back today and didn’t have much to say. I’ve been in therapy about a year and a half now; and it seems that every time I don’t go for a week or two, I completely lose my marbles and have so much to say when I return. Well, I am glad to say that I went in today and had nothing to say. My therapist was shocked but proud. Our session was shorter than usual (10 minutes shorter to be exact) but I didn’t feel I needed support this past two weeks. This could be a good sign that I may not need weekly therapy anymore. Finally, the last thing I am happy to share is an odd one but its important to me. On Jeopardy, we said goodbye to James Holzhauer. James had a 32-game winning streak. I watched every single episode he was on and watched him win over two million dollars! I was fascinated by his winning streak and could not wait for the day the professional sports gambler would lose. I know, that sounds awful, but after a while I was beginning to wonder how he was winning every day. I respect James, he was a hell of a competitor, but I must admit, it was sweet watching him lose to Emma Boettcher. James was known for betting huge amounts for daily doubles and final jeopardy, but for his final episode he only managed to get one daily double and for the final jeopardy question he only bet a modest amount of $1,399. Congratulations to Emma! Take pride in being the person who beat James Holzhauer.
Happy Thankful Thursday! Let me know what you are thankful for in the comments! Happy Thankful Thursday! This past week has had its up’s and down’s and down’s again. But fear not loves I still managed to find a few positive things that helped me get through the week! First off, it was a holiday weekend, and, in my job, I get a paid holiday off! That is one thing I love about my current place of employment. It’s always nice to get a day off especially in my job. It can get a bit stressful and sometimes one day can make all the difference. I used Monday to catch up on my self-care routine. I went to the gym, went to dance fitness, cooked, and wrote a couple of blog posts. I overall had a wonderful mental health day.
Second, on Monday, I made Chicken Teriyaki with Brown Rice and Vegetables. (Check out the recipe in Food!) I made plenty for Monday and two days after. I was happy I took this step to prepare my lunches, ahead of time, for at least two days out of the week. My goal is to continue to meal prep healthy meals and get my health under control. Who knows maybe I’ll even lose weight along the way! I will continue to look up healthy meal prep ideas and I may share these yummy recipes with you! Lastly, this past Saturday was Anthony’s birthday and we celebrated together with family and a group of friends. He wanted to go to the casino and out to eat. So together with both of our moms we went to Santa Ana Casino, gambled and ate at Cantina Rio. After leaving the casino, we went over to our friend Chris’ house and we had a bon fire. It’s the first year Anthony has wanted to celebrate his birthday and I am extremely grateful he was okay with celebrating. My week may have had its up’s and down’s, but I still managed to find things to be thankful for! See you next week for Thankful Thursday! Let me know what you are thankful for in the comments! I catch myself falling into the same routine. I seem fine and I feel as if I have my life together, then it spirals down in some way. For a while, the stresses of being accepted and feeling as if I am part of a team at work were messing with my mental health. I finally got the mental break I needed at work and I thought it was going to be smooth sailing from there, then my relationship started taking a turn in the wrong direction. Anthony recently got weekends off from work and made a lot of promises that weekends would be for us, but so far, his weekends have been dedicated to everyone else but me. I may sound selfish or territorial, but I truly felt hurt that he has yet to spend time with me on at least one of his days off. You may be thinking: "Andrea, you live together you see each other every day." Yes, we do live together, and I SEE him every day, but most days we are doing our own things and paying no attention to one another. Seeing someone and spending time with one another are two completely different things. I am a person who longs for attention. I want to feel important and I base that on the level of attention I receive from people. It’s not something I’m proud of but it is what I do. I constantly feel lonely and as if nobody understands me. I could be in a crowd full of people and still feel lonely. I desperately crave human interaction but hardly get it because I fear most social situations. I am not a person who suffers complete social anxiety, I am, however, a person who hates the unknown outcome of a situation. What triggers my anxiety is the fear of not knowing how a social situation will pan out for me. If a conversation doesn’t go as planned, rather than continue the conversation with something else, I stop and dwell on what just happened. I do this with my family, peers, and basically anybody I encounter. My desperate need for attention so I don’t feel lonely has me trying to make friends. I purposely joined Cushy with the hope of meeting people with the same interests as I and to make friends along the way. And, for a while, I felt as if I was a part of something great! That is, until Cushy shut down. The friendships I thought I gained, (one in particular,) made me realize that they were merely temporary. I’ve made countless attempts to talk to her and she doesn’t honestly seem to care. Initially, I was devastated and wondered what I did to her to be ignored this way. After some serious thought, (and a few crying sessions) I’ve come to realized that, yes, she may not communicate with me anymore, but it doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t care. She has an extremely busy life and a new addition to her family coming soon. I sent my final message to her thanking her for everything she did for me and that meeting her was truly a blessing, and maybe one day our paths can cross again. I had to come to the realization that not everybody is going to want me in their life. I’m slowly starting to accept that. The right people will come along one day. I just need to be patient. The next step in my journey of self-discovery is to learn how to be alone. I’ve never really knew how to be alone. Being alone is a fear of mine. I also decided to act in my relationship since my feelings were hurt by my partner. I decided to designate one day a month that is just for us. Any other day he can do whatever he wants. He was surprised and argued against it. He hasn’t yet agreed to my proposal. But I feel it’s what needs to be done so that way I won’t be hurt anymore with false promises. It will also help me take the step of learning to be alone. I’ve burnt a lot of bridges, some of which I don’t know how, but rather than sulk like I would normally do, I’m going to take this as my opportunity to heal and grow past it. In this journey of self-discovery my goal is to learn who I am, practice more self-care, gain the strength to learn alone time isn’t a bad thing, and accept that the past is the past. I will spend time exploring it, blogging about it, will you join me?
It’s that time of the week to be grateful for what we have. This week for Thankful Thursday, I had a few positive moments that made me smile. First, one of my clients recently got a job and like in most jobs he was required to pass a drug test and go do his fingerprints. Well, I had to take him to do his fingerprints and everybody who knows my client (including me) was worried he would get upset when they grab his fingers. Surprisingly, he did very well while getting this done. He was calm and mostly excited to see his fingerprint on the laptop in front of him. I was so proud of him I bought him a Snickers! Second, Anthony and I helped his parents paint their house this weekend. It was an eventful six hours of painting for us to run out of paint. That isn’t the positive thing I am highlighting from this event. What I am highlighting is that his mom told him that he better not lose me. Not many girls would take time out of their only day off to help their boyfriend’s parents paint their house. I am a keeper. Just hearing that she would share such kind words with her son about me made me smile. I’m used to the complete opposite from the parents of my partner so this was a great self-esteem booster Finally, I donated blood recently. I used to donate every four months but then my iron levels plummeted. I needed time to get my iron levels back up before I donated again. I got a call from Vitalant (formerly known as United Blood Services) and scheduled an appointment to donate whole blood. When I got there, I found out I had high enough iron levels to donate so for me I was ecstatic! Now, four days later, I got a text from Vitalant saying my blood and plasma donation helped saved someone’s life. Once again, that was a self-esteem booster. I enjoy helping others in any way I can, and I feel great knowing my donation helped someone in need. It’s truly the little things in life that make life worth it! Happy Thankful Thursday!
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